We all know the desperate annoyance that comes with flakey friends. We might even be that flakey friend, but either way how many times can a friend bail before they’re headed straight to your blacklist?
I love my friends, i really do, I can put up with holding their hair back after one too many $10 jugs, I can deal with constant complaining over the phone at 4am on a Monday night…”I just realised i don’t have a boyfriend because i got a pimple that one time, right? RIGHT!?’ and i can even handle them stealing my clothes and holding them hostage. But the thing that really grinds my gears is bailing on plans. Especially when they’re the ones who made the fucking arrangements in the beginning!
As far as i’m concerned the only suitable reasons to ditch plans are:
1) You got stuck in a dress that was 4 sizes too small in a clothing change room and you’re now having a panic attack and hyperventilating and thus have lost your driving abilities.
2) A sexy British boy fell out the sky and just insisted that you must go and drink excessive amounts of champaign right then and there.
3) Your cat tipped over your new bottle of MAC foundation, your carpet is ruined and you’re gradually accepting the fact that you just don’t have the money for another bottle and thus will have to walk around looking like a flustered tomato for the foreseeable future.
4) Your hangover is so bad that your head is stuck in the toilet and even 7 bottles of gatorade haven’t been able to revive you.
5) And lastly, i mean i suppose some super crazy family emergency might count. But only if you can prove it, bring me the DR’s certificate and worship me whilst feeding me grapes at a later date to make up for it.
And believe me bitches, i am super sleuth and a mad detective, i WILL find out if you’ve flaked for another friend. 😉
Love, Emeline.
Emeline's Journal 